105 weeks and 3 days | Dolce, Gabanna and ‘synthetic’ IVF babies

It’s not often — on my blog — that I comment on something that has happened outside of my own little world.

My blog is personal. It’s written with love and passion ; mostly about my three boys, sometimes about things I’ve done or things that interest me.  Generally speaking, I don’t want outside events to be spoken about here.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really interested in current affairs;  I watch the news, I have an opinion — and am not frightened to voice it — but there’s a time and a place for that and my little blog is not it.

There are occasional exceptions though.

I once wrote a response to an article I’d read by a TV doctor. She had said that motherhood at 40 was basically a nightmare. Given the fact my experiences were poles apart from hers — and I felt deeply unhappy that if any pregnant 40 year old was reading her article they’d have been scared witless — I wanted to redress the balance. Writing a response on my blog felt like the right thing to do. Plus it got any anger I felt out of my system and I felt immeasurably better afterwards.

And this week has presented another exception to the rule.

The fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana labelling children borne through IVF ‘synthetic’.

Dolce, Gabanna and 'synthetic' IVF babies

To say I’m outraged is an understatement.

I can’t quite put into words how I feel about it,  to be honest.

I’ve just sat, at my computer, typing different words and none of them quite express exactly how I feel about such a comment.

For countless people — couples (gay and straight), single women, single men, entire families — the innovation that is IVF is a miraculous lifeline. Literally.

An incredible feat of science that has enabled endless people to experience the joy of parenthood.

Myself included.

And whilst an IVF baby is created in a lab — rather than a bedroom — nothing about the biological process is ‘synthetic’. Whilst the embryologists can harvest a woman’s eggs and fertilise one in a dish (where many sperm are placed near the egg) or even by using ICSI (where a single sperm is injected directly into an egg)  try as they might, the scientists cannot guarantee a live birth at the end of a round of assisted conception.

The one magical step — the biological miracle of a fertilised egg successfully implanting into the mother’s womb  — simply cannot be guaranteed or orchestrated by humans.

The long and extraordinary process of an embryo growing — and evolving — within a woman’s body, until it is ‘viable’ and able to live outside the womb, cannot be assured by any fertility expert.

These processes are 100% natural. No amount of current technology or scientific intervention can make it happen.

I know this.

A myriad of people who have experienced failed IVF cycles — who’ve pinned everything on it working and are devastated when it doesn’t — know this.

Incredible that two misinformed, narrow minded,  people — who are sadly notorious and have a public, worldwide platform with which to air their views — could openly comment on an issue that is so sensitive and so personal for so many people.

IVF is not something you embark on lightly. It is incredibly invasive. It hurts. Emotionally and physically.

And if you’re lucky enough for it to work – for those incredible, miraculous processes — that cannot be dictated by any human — to work their magic, you will be given the gift of life.

The gift of parenthood.

The gift of a child.

And nothing about that is ‘synthetic’.

 

Dolce, Gabanna and 'synthetic' IVF babies

Dolce, Gabanna and 'synthetic' IVF babies

Caro Davies

Caro Davies art directed fashion and interiors before leaving the world of design to pursue a career in social media. She can now be found chasing the light — and two small twin boys.

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20 Comments

  1. 21st March 2015 / 8:31 pm

    Beautifully written, as always! I wish that they could read this insightful response; perhaps they would change the ignorant views that they hold.

    • 21st March 2015 / 8:51 pm

      Amber — that really means a lot. Thank you.

      I’m incensed by their comments, if I’m honest. How anyone could look at my incredible, beautiful babies and call them ‘synthetic’ is beyond me. Truly.

  2. 21st March 2015 / 9:11 pm

    Beautiful post and all so true, I found the comments offensive and vulgar, I have friends who have been through Ivf and so much love is put into very wanted babies, little miracles and how dare anyone feel that have the right to make such derogatory comments xx

    • 22nd March 2015 / 7:51 pm

      Thanks Sarah. It beggars belief doesn’t it? Vulgar is a great description — it’s so sad that anyone would voice such a heinous opinion in public. For the countless children borne thrpugh IVF, it’s really, really offensive x

  3. 22nd March 2015 / 2:10 am

    A beautifully written post lovely. I can’t believe Dolce and Gabbana actually said that. Disgraceful! I know so many people who have gone the IVF route because they desperately yearn for children. IVF is a hard and exhausting route to take. But it can result in one of the greatest miracles of life – holding your new born baby in your arms. It is hideous for anyone to make disparaging marks about the conception (however it happens) and birth of a child. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

    • 22nd March 2015 / 7:47 pm

      Thanks pet. I can’t believe it either… do they really think that? Or did they just say it to be provocative? Who knows? Comments like that should never be voiced in public X

  4. 22nd March 2015 / 5:59 am

    You are so right Caro, their comments really angered me too there is absolutely nothing synthetic about the wonderful process of conception no matter where it happens! Every time I see photos of your baby boys I melt! As you say, IVF is not an easy route to go down and for those who don’t have success with it it is heartbreaking, it always takes a miracle xx

    • 22nd March 2015 / 7:46 pm

      Thanks Ju. It’s not an easy route. Some people assume that IVF will guarantee you a child at the end of the process but it couldn’t be further from the truth. As you say — it still takes a miracle. And that is not something that can be synthesised X

  5. 22nd March 2015 / 8:39 am

    Gorgeous post my love! Your babies are certainly not synthetic. It was such a stupid comment for him to make and there will be lasting repercussions I am sure xxx

    • 22nd March 2015 / 7:39 pm

      Thanks darling — that means a lot. I hope there will be lasting repercussions; I hope that their career is irreparably damaged as a result. Quite harsh maybe? But not as harsh as their comments. I can’t believe anyone would even think it, let alone say it. xx

  6. 22nd March 2015 / 9:08 am

    Stunning piece and one I am so pleased you voiced. It’s important to stand up for what we believe in. Outrageous such vile comments have been spurred by such high profile figures. Luckily, the majority will agree you and I about how ridiculous they sound. Thank you for sharing such a heart felt and beautiful post. Xx

    • 22nd March 2015 / 7:35 pm

      I though twice about it, to be honest. I have never spoken so publicly about this issue. But their comments really, really resonated with me. And not in a good way.

      I can’t believe that anyone would be so ignorant xx

  7. 22nd March 2015 / 11:43 am

    I do believe everybody is entitled to their own opinion but I fully believe that D&G went beyond the point of having an opinion and what they said was not only offensive and harmful due to their celebrity but also incredibly uneducated and unwarranted. Yours is a fantastic response to a horrendous statement.

    • 22nd March 2015 / 7:32 pm

      Thanks so much Victoria. I agree that everyone’s entitled to an opinion too but to voice something so controversial — so publicly — is as ignorant as the comment itself. Thanks for your lovely comment x

  8. Maria Noell
    22nd March 2015 / 12:35 pm

    Beautiful post… I’m proud of you for standing up for what you believe in and I completely agree with everything you have said!
    Squeezes and Love
    x Maria x
    p.s. I’m not going to lie, your words have made me cry…and not a solitary tear on my cheek either :-) xxx

  9. 22nd March 2015 / 9:02 pm

    Beautiful writing, and those B&W photos at the bottom are absolutely stunning. I whole heartedly agree nothing synthetic at all! #sundaystars

    • 23rd March 2015 / 1:50 pm

      Thank you so much Karen — that’s lovely of you to say x

  10. 4th July 2015 / 11:57 pm

    He clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Caro, this is an outstanding piece of writing. Concise and from the heart. Utterly goose-bump inducingly perfect! x

    • 5th July 2015 / 12:09 pm

      Thanks so much lovely — that means a lot. It’s not often I write about this kind of thing but I was beyond angry. It’s such a narrow minded ridiculous thing to say. Unbelievable in this day and age too. xx

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