171 weeks. Or three years and three months.
I’ve noticed another huge change, literally, in the last week or so.
The toddlers have gone.
The toddlers have left the building.
The boys were getting ready for bed a couple of nights ago — running around in their nighttime pull-ups — and they looked like GIANT babies. But not babies.
Children.
It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? Like this transition has passed me by and I haven’t realised — until now — that the babies I brought home from hospital have grown up!
I remember when they lost their newborn looks and turned into chunky, apple-cheeked, babies. Then again, when that phase ended and they turned into stocky, tottering little toddlers.
And now they’ve morphed into little boys.
We are living, cheek by jowel, with them every day but we don’t notice these changes until they’ve happened.
Then all of a sudden, it’s like we’re seeing them with new eyes. One minute they leave the room, and the next, they come in looking like a different person.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post to be honest. Albeit that I’m feeling a bit tired and emotional.
There have been so many changes over the last couple of months. Since they started pre-school, in April, they’ve become much more independent, much stronger willed and much more worldly-wise than before.
The nursery that we send them to is incredible — the staff there are fabulous — and they are teaching them so many amazing things. Last week, the topic was ‘Castles and Knights’. They made shields and all Cosmo wanted to talk about was castles and ‘draw-bridges that keep the baddies out’.
Wow. He’s three!
I’m sure I didn’t learn about things like that until I went to primary school.
It makes me so proud to hear them chattering to each other. I love listening to their conversations. Darling little sing-song voices, jabbering away. Both of them as bossy as each other; both trying to be top dog.
Cosmo has got amazing recall — just like his daddy. Tell him something just once and it will be lodged, inside his brain, until the next time he’s asked about it.
He astounds me with his knowledge — and his incredible diction. His grasp on the English language is extraordinary for a three year old.
And Bertie. My little birdy. He’s so sweet and loving.
He makes my heart swell with his aptitude for drawing and anything creative.
His key-worker at nursery was so excited a few weeks ago. I went to pick them up and she couldn’t wait to show me how he’d traced his name so beautifully. She said that his pincer grip is amazing for a little one of his age — a little high but amazing — and went on to say that his level of writing skill is akin to that of a reception class child.
I was so proud and also a bit embarrassed that I didn’t know this already. Annoyed with myself that I am not more aware of these childhood benchmarks.
I don’t ever want to take for granted how far they’ve come.
How far we’ve all come.
If I cast my mind back to when my boy and I were trying to conceive; month after month, unsuccessfully trying so very hard to become parents. Motherhood seemed like an unattainable goal. Like a mirage almost.
I used to dream about my babies — about my children. I would picture them; practical and logical like their daddy, creative and artistic like me.
I would wish for them — with every single fibre of my being — so that my whole body ached and my eyes stung with tears.
And now here they are. Exactly as I wished.
My gorgeous, clever, funny little boys.
I don’t think I’ll ever really feel as though I’m fully awake, ever again, to be honest. It all feels like a beautiful, surreal dream.
Such a lovely post – I think I must be feeling emotional as it brought a tear or two to my eye! I was only thinking earlier how still very babyish my 22 month old is and how much I must appreciate the way she is now. Every stage they go through is so wonderful but they do all go so quickly! My eldest was 6 yesterday…6! Where has the time gone?! :) xx
It makes me cry just *thinking* about them growing up!!! In one sense, I want to embrace it but equally I want to just slow everything down! It’s going too fast!! xx
What a beautiful post Caro, and what a pair of wonderful boys you have. Now and then I definitely get the feeling that I am in a dream, and it’s the best dream xx
Aww thanks pet. It’s definitely a lovely place to be isn’t it? Motherhood is a wonderful thing :)
Gorgeous, clever little boys!! Well done Mama (and Daddy) ;-) xXx
Thanks gorgeous xxxx
Ah this made my eyes fill up. I am so pleased all that wishing paid off, they are just the most adorable boys! I know what you mean, they do suddenly look grown up! #TheSiblingsProject x
Aww sweet — sorry — I didn’t mean to make you cry!! It was a happy (ish) post! I promise!! :)
They’re really great snaps of your boys! I feel a little sad that I will be writing the same post as this in a few years. It’s wonderful to see them grow isn’t it, into the fun and loving characters they are, but it’s hard to let go of each stage of their life. Letting go of the baby stage was hard, but I’ve found my groove with toddlers so much that I don’t want it to end!
That’s also brilliant the amount they’re learning at nursery, it sounds much more hands on and fun than any I knew when I was teeny, many years ago x
It’s an amazing privilege isn’t it? To be given front row seats watching these little people grow and change is amazing — I feel so lucky! xxx
Oh they are adorable together – and such clever bright little sparks too! I know what you mean about suddenly noticing the baby is gone – with the girls it was like I’d blinked and they grew overnight!
Waaaaaahhhh!!! The babies ARE gone!!!! It makes me want to cry and cheer all at the same time!! Motherhood is a rollercoaster isn’t it?! :)
ROOAAAR!!! Ha ha ha I love these two so much, every picture makes me really smile. I know what you mean, that’s happened to me recently. I look at Lili and Poppy and they just seem so much older, all of a sudden.
Haha!!! They are funny!!! We really, really need a full AAOB family weekend together!! I think it would be so lovely!! xx
Love the one of them hugging, adorable x #siblingsproject
Aaah thanks so much Emma! :) xx
For me, your post brings to mind the ever old discussion of nature v nurture.
Your boys are naturally beautiful. Their ability to solve the every day conundrums they face and their capacity for learning new things is also likely part of their make up.
But, they are also very loving and caring, full of fun, very mischievous, well behaved, adaptable, and just so damn cute! All of this and more is down to you and your boy. Great parents = great kids!
Each milestone my kid reached I wanted it to be the last but I soon realised that the next milestone was as enjoyable as the last. I now have a very feisty and argumentative 15 year old but nothing has changed. Each moment is still as good as the last and I wouldn’t ever wish to go back.
Aaah thanks gorgeous. That’s lovely of you. And sage advice too. I really, really miss the squashy babies. I waited so long for them and that phase seemed to fly past in the blink of an eye, but I’m so happy at the mo. They’re SO funny and I love the fact that I can interact with them now — and it’s not a one sided conversation. I can totally see that things will get better and better xx
I took a photograph of my youngest on Monday and felt exactly the same, she was suddenly looking much more little girl than toddler. It just happens oh so fast doesn’t it x
It’s awful to feel sad about it, isn’t it? We should be celebrating and feeling happy that we’re raising these little people! But it does make me feel really emotional!! x
So cute, those faces are adorable and they look like such fun together. I really relate to this too as I look at both my 5 year old and 16 month old and wonder where my babies went – I try every day to really appreciate it and study them but sometimes it’s one look or a moment and they change from baby to toddler to child. It’s emotional, and amazing all at once! x
I totally agree!! I have tried so hard to savour every moment — but it’s STILL gone so quickly!!! x
Lovely photos of your boys what a lovely bond they have together
Thanks so much Joanna! :) x
Aw that’s a beautiful post, got me all emotional! I was the same last year when I looked at Tyler and thought oh my god you’re not a toddler any more, you’re a boy! I miss all the milestones too, it all happens so quickly! Xx
It has FLOWN by!!! Literally flashed before my eyes!!! The babies have gone!! I am now the proud owner of two little boys!!! HOW did that happen?! x
It’s funny how one day they are toddlers and the next they are actual boys – I know just what you mean! And I have a 3 year old that would adore castles and drawbridges, too! Beautiful boys, gorgeous photos x
Thanks Joc —it’s such a weird thing isn’t it? The changes must be happening all the time — but literally you don’t notice — until one day, it’s like you’re seeing a brand new version of them!! xx
Really cute pics of their cute bond. They both suit red with their dark hair.
Aah thanks ever so much Mel :) x